TIDBITS (Timbits + Tedbits)

WARNING - Content may be offensive, or even correct!

Wednesday 3 September

The Webmaster's Rejoice (even less about skydiving)

Well, this particular page of bits started out as an email, then I thought what the heck, I'll just post it on the tidbits. It's the story of my heart surgery yesterday. So if you're looking for some World Meet juice, check back real soon for Ted's first report. But if you're interested in the story of a ticker with (formerly) bad wiring, here's one fresh out of the hospital.

It all started years ago as a mild heart murmur, one that passed Army scrutiny and still gave me enough pumping effort to run two miles in under twelve minutes (on a good day). Then a year after I left the army, I tried to get back into military shape, and found myself "hitting the wall" -- once my heart beat reached a certain pace, it would start racing, I'd get real dizzy and have to slow down or stop. At first I blamed it on the altitude at Sierra Vista (nearly 7,000') but over the next few years it just got worse and worse. I finally quit running altogether a couple of years ago. Even while sitting at rest, my ticker thumped oddly and randomly, as to the beat of a 3-legged drummer.

Then, while in pursuit of fixing my other ailment -- a bad rotator cuff in my left shoulder caused by years of skydiving -- my cardiologist diagnosed my heart murmur as Supraventricular Arrhythmia and told me there was a treatment with 80+% success rate. Well, after three delays (the last one caused by that wave of computer virus attacks that had me working 60+ hour weeks lately) I finally went under the knife yesterday.

I was awake for almost the entire procedure, if not all of it. I think I dozed off a couple of times. I remember a pretty nurse named Chastity, her burly male assistant AJ all covered with tattoos and wearing a St Louis baseball cap, and my doctor with the Klingon-sounding name of Ashok Garg. They managed to get an IV going and slid me on to a hard, flat table in a room with the thermostat set on sub-freezing. This procedure used not one but three catheters; one going up each side of the groin, and one going into the right side of my neck. The catheters would be run up my veins into my heart. Overall I think there were a half dozen people or more working on me.

During the surgery I mostly had a view of the blanket covering me, but occasionally I could see one of the monitors that showed all three catheters hovering in my heart. I was too loopy from the drugs to really think about it, but I do remember it. The whole experience was rather sublime and comfortable, except for the rock hard table I was on.

After what seemed like perhaps an hour or so, I saw Chastity's face appear from the other side of the blanket, and she said "we have normal sinus rhythm." I smiled at her. In reality the surgery had lasted nearly four hours. The process was to study the heart, locate any excessively active nerves, and cauterize them, thus restoring regular activity. My ticker was back to normal.

Only after I woke up the next morning (this morning) did I realize the impact of the surgery and how bad the murmur had been. My ticker seems to be now working a little slower and more methodical;  it is almost eerie how much quieter it seems in my chest. Want to see the proof in the pudding? Here are before surgery and after surgery EKGs of my heart. I would welcome any feedback from any medical folk out there who really know how to read them.

I feel like a new man, albeit one with three bandages in weird places. Now I can't wait to get this shoulder fixed and get back into the air.

Calling T1...T2 to T1, check in please...wait, I think we have contact...

T2

Ted Wagner, Chief Engineer | Tim Wagner, Webmaster